The HSP In Me

A different nerve system

Some weeks ago I read an article in a Dutch newspaper: HSP officially recognized by science. This was a huge eye-opener for me. It felt like all the pieces finally fell together.HSP stands for Highly Sensitive Person. Let there be no mistake, it does not mean persons who start crying easily. Not at all. It is not a disorder as well. In fact, 15 – 20% of the population is HSP. HSP is often inherited and it is proven that HSPs have a different composition of the nervous system. But what does it mean and how does it influence people? In 1996 dr. Elaine N. Aron introduced the term after a long period of research. In short, HSP means that people are more stimulated by outside influences such as noise, light, moods other people are in, pressure when they have to do some task, scents, arts, and music. Actually, the list is much much longer but I prefer to tell from my own experiences.

Ever since I was young I always felt like being an outcast. The biggest difference between me and other children was that I never liked playing with peers. I rather spent time with older people who did not act childish like the other kids did. When older people talked it all seemed to make more sense. Also, I liked very much about being alone. When I grew older I could sit in my room listening to the music I liked, making drawings or sometimes write about things I had experienced. Nobody but me has ever read my notes but that did not matter. Another thing that made me ‘different’ was that I always hated bullying. I just could not stand it even seeing guys bullying others and I always took a stand for the victims. When I grew older I often ‘felt’ when something bad was going to happen soon. It gave me this uncomfortable feeling I could not explain. Until the time was there and then I knew why I had felt that way. It’s strange when something bad happens and you get rid of that uncomfortable feeling.  

 Strong senses

These are just a few examples. People often misinterpret the signs and then say that somebody is over-emotional. That mistake is easily made and for sure it comes close but it does not cover the whole thing. A highly sensitive person more often than not gets overwhelmed with all kinds of feelings. To me, it is like we have a ‘built-in’ radar. We easily sense the mood of people that are close. We often can feel if a person is sad, excited or happy. That goes without words. 

There is something I still have not read about during my search on Google and maybe it is not very common for a person with HSP although I think it definitely should be listed: I need things well organized. Sometimes I hear we will have a visitor, only to hear 5 minutes later that it is canceled. Of course, I cannot blame the people but it makes me feel uncomfortable because when I hear something will happen or someone will drop by I start planning things immediately. No, it does not show on the outside but in my head, all cogs are working. It is just an example of what happens when confronted with something unexpected. HSP easily feel ‘lost’. As long as everything is in order and all seems to be well-organized nothing is wrong. 

Noisy places, in general, are a pest for HSP. Not only do feelings come in more intense, so does the noise. You’re at home and enjoying the music while doing some chores or reading the news or….whatever suits you at the moment. Then others come home and start talking. The bird likes the company and starts calling for attention. Phones are ringing and the kids from the neighbors are playing some wild game outside. On top of that people start asking you all kinds of things. Enough to drive an HSP completely insane. For me, it is all too much and I will get upset. I cannot concentrate anymore and sometimes don’t even know what to answer. For HSP all come in in a bigger form. There is no filter. Simply said; we get overloaded and about to crash.

Now, this might all sound negative in a way but that is only a part of the story. There is also a bright side to it. Intuïtion for one. Often we can estimate the outcome of several cases quite precisely. Understand me well,  because this is about intuïtion this is NOT a prediction. It is just that an HSP can think a few steps further already. For others that is hard to believe and often the suggestions made by an HSP are not taken too seriously. However, if an HSP knows about this ability he/she can forget about going several steps ahead and go with the flow, leading the group in a certain direction anyway.                                                          
When an HSP meets new people it does not take long to figure them out. Are they honest and real? We have an ‘antenna’ for this. Yes, I fully understand that this might sound a bit ridiculous but I can tell you first hand that it is true. It does not mean we are always right. There are people who can fool us as well. In particular, people that are close to us. Unfortunately, I have witnessed that first hand too.

Our senses also are more developed if I may put it that way. It was already mentioned before. The reason for getting upset easily in that example is that we hear more than other people. Well, maybe not more but we take note of everything. So we do hear the music and other people talking and the bird and the phones ringing. An HSP cannot single one out. Instead, he/she needs to get all the information in. It is not a choice but how our nerve system deals with it. No worries, we can always escape from it all. That is what we often (should) do: take a rest. What I often do is simply walk outside for a moment or I go to the CR just to be alone for a moment. It is nothing more than a quick recharge of the battery.                                               We also see much more. It is hard to explain but we just have an eye for even the smallest details. The same goes for the other senses. 

Sometimes it all gets too much

HSP usually are very caring people. They have empathy for others and always make sure other people are comfortable. Now, wait, I might be overdoing here. First of all HSP are common people and all the ‘extra’s’ is known but let us face it, it is all proportional. Some have highly sensitive hearing and smelling abilities where others developed sight much better for instance. So not all HSP have the same empathy as well. All that has been written here is of course in general.

There is a lot more to tell and maybe I will in another blog. But (and since I ‘came out’ here I can be open about it) it really took me some time to write this blog. Doing some research, translate things, cooking dinner in between, answering questions I get, making sure the bird has food and water. There you go; a lot of distractions. We all face them and most of the time it is no problem at all. This subject, however, is serious enough that it needs full attention. 

If you want to read more about HSP I suggest you go to Google. I could place links here but there are so many and who am I to say which one you need to read? I rather leave with my usual final sentence:

Love the ones you’re with and be loved in return.